Telling Other People
Telling other people that you have MS is often one of the most difficult aspects of adjusting to life with the disease. It is up to you who you tell, when and how, and it is an issue that is worth thinking about carefully. Most counsellors agree that it is best for close family to be fully informed about a person’s MS, including children. Fear of the unknown is usually worse than the truth, and your family cannot offer you the support you need if they do not understand your disease. With work colleagues and casual acquaintances, different levels of discussion may be appropriate.
Don’t feel that you have to tell everyone straight away. Wait until you feel strong enough to talk confidently and cope with their reactions. You may decide that some people do not need to know at all, especially if you have no obvious symptoms.
The following points may be helpful when telling people about MS:
- Don’t be too sombre or too light-hearted – just treat your disclosure about MS as a statement of fact. Make it clear that MS is part of your life, but it hasn’t taken you over
- Remember that most people will initially feel awkward and not know how to respond. Let them know that it is OK to ask questions and express their feelings to you
- Silence or an abrupt response does not mean the person does not care. It is more likely that they do not know what to say. Tell them that you realise the news may be a shock, and that you are willing to answer any questions they may have later
- Occasionally some people may back off completely after hearing you have MS. This may be because they are afraid to confront something they do not understand. If you want to keep their friendship you may have to make the first move – call them instead of waiting for them to call you
- Some people may bombard you with well-meaning but unwanted advice. Tell them that you appreciate their concern, but that you are receiving medical assistance and advice for your MS